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Monday, June 01, 2009
1 June 2009 Angels and Demons
11:45 PM Hey. It's been almost a year already. Life in NYJC is good. So yeah, that's done with. I wanted to talk about how I'm feeling today, cause I don't usually do that. Has there ever been a time when you wanted someone to talk with, to cheer you up when you're feeling down, someone to tell all your little secrets to? Well that's how I feel like right now, really tired and for some reason upset. Sometimes I question how people treat me, do they simply think of me as some giggly girl or do they really see the real me, the one who is very self conscious? I hate myself sometimes, for the way I put myself across, for the way I behave. Sometimes I just wish I could hide behind someone and just be invisible. Sometimes I just feel used. Well thanks so much for making me feel that way :D I'm really happy about it. Note the sarcasm. I'm sorry if after a long long hiatus I start ranting about this emo shit, but really I feel like dirt right now. I question my actions, my capabilities and whether or not I really want to be the way I am right now. I wish people would just stop seeing this grinning person and take me seriously for once. I'm sick and tired of it all. Thanks for reading this stupid post. LOVE Rachel PS. Angels and Demons, Ewan McGregor in his role is totally perfect. I wanna believe him as he is. |